Monday, February 20, 2012

Skiing...not so much

     This past weekend I got to go to Asheville, NC for a ski retreat.  Well, I guess it was technically a ski retreat but for me it was, minus the skiing and a retreat with great friends.  Why don't I ski you might ask?  Great question. Of course I have a story and a rational reason for my actions or inactions like I always do.

      Well travel in your mind with me to the West Point ski slop Christmas of 2010.  My Colorado blooded brother-in-law really wanted to go skiing for the day as well as other members of my family even though the West Point ski slope is just a mere innuendo of real skiing in Colorado. I have never been skiing since most members for my family have returned from youth ski trips with injuries.  Since I am so accident prone why would I ever go voluntarily do something where I am guaranteed to fall?  On a normal day that's walking up the stairs for me.  But, I have always been adventurous so I'm not sure why I picked skiing not to try.  I love anything on the water and heights but for some reason sticking fiberglass to bottom of my feet and flying down a mountain praying I have the control enough to not hit a tree or a person is just not appealing.

     Okay so back to my story as I remember it.  My brother-in-law said he would teach me to ski since he is an amazing skier.  However, I should have known that if someone is awesome at something they normally don't make the best teachers.  So I get pulled up the bunny huge slope and my brother-in-law (who I love I might add) mumbled something to me about just pointing my skis downhill and going.  Micah, I'm not sure how you remember this but I said something like, "Are you sure? Okay," and off I went without any real instruction.  I'm sure my lack of instruction was also due partly to my listening skills but that wouldn't make for a good story. So down, down, down I went.
    Thinking back to watching the winter olympics I followed what I have seen and tucked my poles and bent my knees not thinking about basic physics and gravity.  While looking like a pro I was yelling frantically, "HELP HELP HELP! MOVE! I CAN'T STOP! HELP!"  Then realizing that no one could possible help me I picked the best place to break my leg and crashed.  Okay so I didn't break my leg but I sure thought I was going to break something.  I'm sure you have picked up through my dramatic voice that this was a traumatic experience which I wish not to repeat for my safety and yours.  Trust me when I say you do not need me on the slopes. Count it as my public service to the skiing community that I abstain.  

1 comment:

  1. That was pretty great....the screaming...the crashing...the terror....I can see it all so clearly in my head. Everyone who heard your screams(and I do mean EVERYONE) had a great time that day.

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